Monday, March 1, 2010

"B" for Bigotry

Whatta Hubby! I married good!

The White-Haired
Harbinger of Gratitude

Tim Hare
Copyright HARE2010
All Rights Reserved

Shining the Light of Gratitude
from the historic West Ward neighborhood
of Easton, Pennsylvania

"B" for Bigotry

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8 comments:

noel jones said...

Interesting that the number of views tripled on this one.

I know that a lot of inter-racial couples also deal with a similar amount grief from prejudiced people, or nonwhite couples in general, for instance, the speed with which you are seated and served at a restaurant, the speed with which you will be asked if you need help at a bank...a lot of these subtleties are missed by people born into a privileged situation, in this case, the mythical white heterosexual norm that dates only those also from that "norm". They are stresses that the privileged don't experience, and therefore don't notice.

I like your challenge to those who may suggest that there is not that much stress to deal with on a daily basis for someone labeled "other" (or that gay marriage rights aren't an important issue): all a white straight person has to do is grab the hand of another white straight person and go for a long walk to get a taste of what it's like to require bravery and perseverance to simply express your feelings for the person you love.

It's ridiculous that it in 2010, in this "land of the free" we actually dictate that some citizens are not free to marry the people of their choice.

Even if someone is religious and doesn't believe in gay relationships for themselves, no one has been able to sensibly explain to me why it wouldn't be a matter between a person and their God, rather than an issue to waste time getting legislated between people trying to control other people's love lifes. It should all be stricken from the books--after all, no one had to create a law to allow men to marry women--they just did it.

Anonymous said...

Noel, regarding your comments....as they say in some churches, "Bingo!" :-)

Thanks for your insightful words,

Tim (and Earl)

celticwarrior said...

Tim is there another definition for marriage that I cant find. It states man and women .you cant change what it was put in place for.If there was no Adam and Eve there would be know us.
You seem to have alot of hate towards White Heterosexuals. I am a very proud one and do not have hate towards you.I may not agree with your theory of marriage But does not make one a bigot.
What gets me is that you constantly insult White Heterosexuals and Miss Jones calls me a hate monger.I can also recall in California were a homosexual or Oueer as you use.Attacked a 75 year old woman because she did not agree with your life style.
Point is that racism comes in all colors and sexes.But this site will only show one side .And when you always tell one group of people that you are the victim and this one is to blame.Then you incite them to hate.And then you become the hate monger that you interpret others to be.
And I have been nothing but civil on this site and will most likely be labled a hate monger.I have comented on other blogs and have given only facts and opinions.

Sandra Walters Weiss said...

Newsflash!!! Washington DC the home of our Nation's government is recognizing the union of same sex individuals. So whether you approve or disapprove the government has sanctioned this as a constitutional right.Bigotry knows no boundaries and I believe that we as individuals only have to answer to the God of our understanding.So we are all born through the same process and we can not change that,nor can we change whether we are predisposed to be alcoholics or diabetics or heterosexuals or homosexuals.
It is also true that bigotry is not just a racial thing.Being a woman in the "good old boy" network I have experienced a form of bigotry. One only has to read about country's that preform circumcision on women to understand the mentality of being lessor than......Unfortunately we are not all born open minded,this is a choice and after all being the land of the free and the home of the brave there are those of us that belong to a group that believes they have the power to influence my moral fiber,they call themselves the "moral majority".Well thankfully I was raised by a set of open minded individuals who taught me that I had no right to pass judgment on someone whose views differed from mine and that because of this I would experience folks whose lifestyle and beliefs did just that. They also taught me to respect my fellow man and to voice my opinion if I felt I was right or wronged.My parents have been gone along time but to this day I carry those values with me the same way I was taught and this was a gift that can not be touched or felt,it is called "compassion" It is the act of walking in another man's shoes and being open minded enough to know that I could be that "man" or that "woman".

noel jones said...

celticwarrior--i'm not sure how you rationalize that Tim's telling the story of how heterosexual bigots have treated HIM and his husband translates into HIS hating white heterosexuals. This is called Projection in psychology--when one feels guilty about their own thoughts and so instead of dealing with them, he superimposes them on someone else and accuses that other person of those thoughts. It is a defense mechanism. And defensiveness about bigotry is a red-flag that someone has issues there.

I am a white heterosexual and am quite sure that Tim doesn't hate me. But then, maybe that's because I don't waste time and energy trying to control his love life. Or maybe it's because I believe that in the Land of the Free, American citizens should be able to combine their finances and healthcare with the person of their choice.

Churches can do whatever they want, but legal marriage is about the legal right to have a spouse of the same sex on one's insurance policy, to be able to name one's same-sex spouse as the one with legal right to make decisions when one is sick and dying or what will be done with one's body and property after one dies. I cannot understand how anyone who considers himself/herself a "patriotic" American and supposedly believes in Liberty for all, would want to tell another American who they can and can't give these very personal rights to.

I also find the Christian Right's obsession with this issue indicative of how much they seem to like thinking about homosexual lifestyles rather than their own, when they claim to be straight.

The bottom line is that people who are not bigoted don't get offended when someone talks about the reality of bigotry in our world.

Anonymous said...

Some do have in their minds that "marriage" is the union of opposites and that for opposites to come together they need the legal or religious concept of marriage. Just like heaven and hell would need that. Do heaven and heaven need that?

When marriage started as a institution it was to keep property (owned by males) intact to pass own to their sons for life and after and as usual they sanctioned this financial interest with a religious sanction.

At this point why not just everybody have "civil unions'? Everybody have the same rights to have partners and all the benefits. If somebody wants to through their church or religious practice have more to it then that go for it. But why is the government in the business of marriage? It all should be civil unions and thats all that required and it says the same thing for everybody. If people want to do extra let them and call it whatever. The thing that was "marriage" doesn't exist as public institution anymore. It is more a sentimental thing.

Anonymous said...

I think that you need to review the meaning of bigotry. Bigotry that involves a hostile act is what concerns all of us. You speak of staring, and I don't see the relevance. I walk my dog and people stare at me and/or the dog. I don't view the stare as hostile. In fact, I would stare at two people holding hands whether they were of same or opposite sex. The purse story, I've heard before, maybe an urban myth, that the purse was the target of a thief and the story was blown out of proportion.

How do you deal with religion? Many religions do not endorse homosexuality and many religions do not endorse same sex marriage. Are they bigots? Their thoughts are well rationalized. And, they don't preach hostile acts toward anyone. In fact, many religious bodies are forgiving and invite all to prayer. The religious act of marriage is far from the civil act. Many religions make prospective married couples go through weeks of religious teaching before permitting marriage. It is not as simple as a blood test and a license.

My religion for which there are several churches in the Easton Area recognizes homosexuality as a sin, but maintains a concern for homosexual believers. This statement is debated at least every two years. Members are cautioned to reject the sin and not the person. There has been no determination whether sexual orientation is chosen or changeable. That debate continues.

My church is opposed to laws that regulate personal sexual behavior and laws that would discriminate on sexual orientation.

My church does not sanction same sex marriage in the church and ministers are prohibited from performing same sex marriages.

I don't view this attitude as bigotry. Perhaps, you do. I tend to think of bigotry as irrational, stubborn behavior accompanied with open hostility. The reason I say that is to keep everything in perspective. When I was young, many of us got our heads beaten in for standing up for racial minorities. I don't want to cheapen their sacrifices. That was real bigotry.

celticwarrior said...

well miss jones the matter of the issue is not controling ones love life.Its what marriage is all about and that is man and women.If to of the same sex want to be somthing let them call it other than marriage.
In all your statements if Whitey is such a bigot why the hell do nonwhites flock here.Do you think it might be there attitudes or the way they act.But if they read your blog they will have attitudes.
What I see in tim and his comments.Is that he is upset that his White Heterosexual parants had unprotected sex and created someone who feels like he cant fit in with the norm.And people look at him differently so he lashes out on this blog.
I get looked at all the time when Im in a majority black neighborhood .Which could be because of my color or because that what left wing liberals teach them that allthe time.So any time you walk iwth me ill show you whats going on in the real world.