Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thieves and Crazies


Posted by: Noël Jones

It has been a banner week in Easton for thieves and crazies--and some crazy thieves. Below are articles by Michael Buck of the Express-Times. All early risers please be on the lookout for what looks to be the beginning of serial muggings between the hours of 5-6am in the Easton/Wilson area:

Palmer woman caught embezzling from a youth soccer league (lovely)
Easton man throws blood on EPD officers  (charming)
Easton man steals a car, smashes windows, then returns it (brilliant)
Woman robbed Downtown on her way to work (keep an eye out for this one)
Man robbed in Wilson same day 40 min later (police think it's the same pair)
Easton man chases people with machetes (I hear that in Haiti the #1 cause of death in men in machete)

Rather than giving each of these a separate post, I'm listing them all at once for your reading pleasure. Now I am off to find flowers and bunnies and something Springy to write about--oh wait--I forgot, there's another winter storm coming...

5 comments:

david said...

weather is warming and the thugs are swarming...like clockwork. seasonal patterns.
question is...how low will the trousers be hangin' this year?

i'm predicting the belt-line to reach the ankles by the end of this summer...

noel jones said...

criminal fashion is multi-dimensional--let's not forget the "grandad robber" from last year with his silver hair and baseball cap. or that crazy "Terrorist Jane" Colleen LaRose, with her frizzy blonde 80s hairdo...

noel jones said...

and let's not forget the Forks Township KNBT robber, sporting a giant beer belly and a Miller Lite t-shirt:

http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/easton/index.ssf/2011/04/forks_township_knbt_robber_sen.html

g_whiz said...

"How low will the trousers be hangin' this year?" The 1940s sound so charming when you frame it in that context.... in seriousness there's a correlation between urban crime and summer weather...but it typically ties into opportunity theory. Delinquent behavior goes up when teenagers have more time on their hands and less supervision. I'd make a case for more youth programs buuuut who are we kidding budget wise?

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